so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
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I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
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Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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