the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Drunk is a universal language darling
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
