i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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