4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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