having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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