Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
