He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Randomize