remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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