Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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