I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
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Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
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He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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