Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize