i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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