I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college