So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
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he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
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We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child