Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
