It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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