i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
