What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
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like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
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Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.