yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.