in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
