Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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