Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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