3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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