i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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