he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize