She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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