Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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