my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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