That's when you crack a 10am beer
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize