i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I am available for nakedness
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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