Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
