Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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