you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo