I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.