he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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