she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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