Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize