my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize