they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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