does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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