forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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