Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
