when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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