oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
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