I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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