so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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