yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize