Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
