I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I fill condoms, not promises.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
