how can u be prego again
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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