dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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