Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
