Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize