im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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