he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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