After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
